It's the awards show it's ok to like! Well, if it's ok to like the NME and I suppose that the jury's out on that one. I realise that this e4 broadcast of the awards show isn't *actually* live, but this way we don't have to sit through the technical hitches and waiting around between awards and performances. Much tighter.
For me, 2007 was really not a vintage year for music. In fact, I like to call it the year when music went wrong. I suppose we had it coming, seeing as though we've been going through something of a purple patch recently; ever since The Strokes re-introduced indie kids to Converse and tailoring, in fact. Now, just like the late 90s, things have gone seriously wrong. The Enemy, The Wombats, frickin' Joe Lean and the Jing Jang Jong - am I seriously meant to like these bands? I'm not even sure that NME are entirely convinced. Anyway, I'm telling you this so that you can expect a few cynical comments during my liveblog tonight. If you're happy with that, hop over the cut! Keep refreshing...
10.57: Still awake then kids? Enjoy Ashes To Ashes? "Gene..." "I know." Brilliant. Right onto tonight's proceedings...
10.58: Oh great.. it's these two. Since when did anyone consider them good presenters? Did they really impress so much on Big Brother's Big Mouth?
11.00: Oooh there's Noel Fielding in a bandanna... nice one. These band spoofs are just HILARIOUS, aren't they? Haha, the Kaiser Chiefs DO say AHHHHH a lot!! Man I'd have never realised that on my own...
11.02: Klaxons are performing Atlantis To Interzone - it's the sirens on this track that convinced everyone that they were nu-rave. Then we all heard Golden Skans and realised that they could actually written tunes... I mean tunes that initially remind one of Hard-Fi, of course, but when you get over that it's a killer.
11.04: Is that a new drummer or has he just cut his hair...? I liked that hair, but maybe he felt he needed to do something drastic to actually get noticed for once.
11.05: Dizzie Rascal is introducing Matt and James, with them as backing singers and dancers... oh Dizzie, you're better than this!
11.08: "This has been one of the greatest years in music history." Oh dear.
11.09: Richard Hawley's on, presenting Best Track, and trying to get the audience going a bit. Good luck with that. If there were any justice, The White Stripes' Icky Thump would win but seeing as though it's not nominated, that's unlikely.
11.11: Arctic Monkey's Fluorescent Adolescent has taken the award, which is a worthy replacement, and I'll forever heap the band with praise after they openly criticised the Brit School love-in last week!
11.17: Ooh it's a couple of Let's Have A Skins Party people. Ie they're both in Skins, and they're presenting the award for Best Solo Artist. I may be wrong about this, but I think that every single nominee apart from Patrick Wolf is a Brit School graduate. That's not at all depressing, is it?
11.18: And Kate Nash has won, who I can't take seriously since I heard that 'I just want your kiss booooy' song, which is just too similar to something Natasha Bedingfield would write.
11.21: Ah it's Indie Hero Lightspeed Champion. I might not be totally down with his music but I do like a man in a cape...
11.24: This is perfectly pleasant, I must say, and there's a rather wonderful Star Wars theme going on with the costumes, which was admittedly done by Gnarls Barkley last year, but is always fun...
11.25: Best TV show now, and Russell Howard's presenting. If NME faves The Mighty Boosh don't win I'll eat my virtual hat. Shame Buzzcocks has to miss out, though - Simon Amstell has done wonders for that show.
11.27: And the Boosh have indeed won - and whole gang are here (minus Bob Fossil) out of costume! Even Mike Fielding and Dave Brown bless 'em! Normally they're kept in their place in costume. Julian, as always, has some pearls of wisdom to offer. Oh, I love him anyway.
11.30: Faris Rotter and Kimberley Stewart - in no way a strange pairing - are presenting Best New Band; a category which is testament to my 2007 SUCKED argument. The Enemy have won, which is terrible, obviously, but it does mean that their lead singer and Faris have been brought together, and there's about a two-foot height difference. I'm sorry, but that's *always* funny!
11.34: It's the Radar Award now, and the much-hyped Glasvegas are the recipients. No snarky comment, Anna? Nope, they seem like decent guys who are passionate about their music.
11.40: And we're back with a performance from Gallows featuring Lethal Bizzle. I can't handle this nu-punk, I just don't have the constitution for it, but this band certainly follow their own path and can be admired for that. As for their collaborator, I must relay a fantastic Amstell line from the recent series of Buzzcocks: "Why do you have to be so Lethal?"
11.44: Onto the Best Video award, presented by The IT Crowd's Chris O'Dowd - and Richard Ayoade but apparently he's not worth a mention. Awww. That JUSTICE video is pretty mesmerising, but of course it's the Arctics who have won. Not that I'm complaining; I'm glad that this song, Teddy Picker, has got some recognition, however indirectly. Top song.
11.47: Who's doing these backstage interviews? I feel very out of the loop...
11.50: Ooooh some genuine prickliness between Matt and Kelly Osbourne, who's presenting the award for the Best Live Band. You don't really need me to tell you who's won this, do you? It's Muse. Of course it's Muse. IT WILL ALWAYS BE MUSE.
11.53: A performance of The Smith's classic Panic from The Cribs, now. The Cribs are a definite contender for a Band I Don't Like As Much As I'm Supposed To... it's just too tempting to want them to lighten up a bit, isn't it? I mean, Artic Monkeys did last week at the Brits and they've been hailed as heroes. C'mon Jarman Brothers, give it a go!
12.00: Two thirds into the show, and we're onto Best International Band. With Foo Fighters, Kings of Leon, Arcade Fire and The Killers all nominated, this is a refreshingly strong category. Just ignore My Chemical Romance, ok? The Killers have sent a thoroughly bizarre acceptance speech... I can't even begin to describe it, actually... so I won't.
12.04: Proper Indie Legends In Sharp Suits Mani and Bobby Gillespie are presenting the award for Best Album which *amazingly* has gone to Klaxons as opposed to Arctic Monkeys! I thought they were a shoo-in for this one, but it's nice to spread it around a little, right?
12.07: Kate Nash and Billy Bragg. I'm sorry, but that's a collaboration the world can really do without. I have problems enough with liking Foundations without introducing another element I have problems with... Kate's hair looks nice though. What?
12.11: Presenting the big award for Best Band is the ubiquitous Agyness Deyn and there are no shocks here - Arctic Monkeys have indeed won. And quite right too; I had something of a road to Damascus moment with the Monkeys last year when I realised that they write amazing, interesting tunes, and don't always write lyrics like "you're not from New York City, you're from Rotherham". Thank goodness.
12.20: In a partnership to rival Kimberley Stewart and Faris Rotter, it's NME's Zach Braff-a-like editor and uber-successful boxer Joe Calzaghe, on stage to present Manic Street Preachers with the God-Like Genius Award. Cue the talking heads montage!
12.26: And we finish with a performance from the aforementioned God-Like Genii, with an appearance from Cerys Matthews. If you're interested in the rest of the (untelevised) awards, here you go...
Best Music DVD: Nirvana Unplugged In New York
Best Live Event: Carling Weekend, Leeds and Reading
Best Radio Show: Zane Lowe, Radio 1
Best Film: Control
Best Website: Facebook
Best Venue: Wembley
Villain of the Year: George W Bush
Best Dressed: Noel Fielding
Worst Dressed: Amy Winehouse
Worst Album: Britney Spears, Blackout
Sexiest Man: Noel Fielding
Sexiest Woman: Kylie Minogue
John Peel Award for Music Innovation: Radiohead
Best Dancefloor Filler: 'Lets Dance To Joy Division' The Wombats (urgh)
Best Album Artwork: The Good The Bad And The Queen
Best Band Blog: Radiohead
Best Music Blog: The Modern Age